you said something you did not need to
as though it had lingered too long at the lip
waiting for a moment that never made way
and slipped.
no one had asked for it
no one had brought us there
and still
you placed it between us
with the ease of someone
who has long practiced distance
who knows
exactly how much space
a thing like this requires
and then
you looked at me
not long enough
for anyone else to notice
only enough
to settle beneath my skin
like a thought
I could neither keep
nor rid myself of
I carried that look home
turned it over
wore it thin with meaning
decided, perhaps selfishly,
it had been meant for me
that this was how you kept your borders
with sentences that arrive too early
and eyes that leave too soon
a quiet correction
for the way I lean toward you
without shame
the rose I gave you
feels almost foolish now
a tender thing
laid at the feet of someone
who has mastered the
discipline of withholding
the way you listen / only when I
nearly stop speaking
the way you don’t
and how I rise at once
all spark and temper
how easily
I give you the truth of me
and how gently
you make it seem harmless
as though my little storms
do not weary you
I tell myself
this is enough
this trade of thought
this measured closeness
this near-ness
that never quite becomes
you tell me to be good but
my body is less obedient
than my mind
and so
I remain here
studying the shape of restraint
wanting you
no further
than you will permit
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